New things....

Been given a huge new responsibility at work....and it's really making me stressed out. Not sure if I'm up to it at the moment. Presently, I've been in denial...doing anything and everything except work that's needed to facilitate my undertaking of this new role.

I realised that it is my style of coping...I take flight when I'm stressed, avoiding the issue, not willing to face it. But of course I'll give myself credit for still facing it eventually. I'm not exactly the irresponsible sort of person. In fact, I think I'm quite a 'never-say-die' kind of person.

I'll just need time and space to retreat into my own little world to work through my stress and anxieties first before I'm ready to step out again.

I just dislike the beginning phase when I'm still struggling and learning...how I wish it will fast forward to the point where I'm already adapt at the task...then I'll feel more confident and less stressed...I'm now that the worst stage: anticipating for the thing to happen, for the moment to start when I'm beginning this new task. Maybe after that moment, things will start getting better...hopefully...

On a lighter note, I've been attending a crash course on sign language. It's conducted in-house and company paid for it. So one of my wish from long ago has finally been fulfilled. And I'm enjoy my lessons tremendously! I love learning new languages :)

And yes, I haven't updated about my Penang/KL trip...it was a blast!! The quantity and quality fo the food we ate there thanks to the great hospitality of my Malaysian relatives were more than enough to make me gain 100 kilos! Ok, that's a bit too far fetched, but I really put on weight after my trip ok! The food was simply out of this world lah...my brother called it "god-like". Don't believe? Go to Penang and you'll see what I mean..

For now, i'm dingdong-ing between desperately trying to lose weight and trying to keep to my diet. I wanna lose enough weight so that when I get pregnant, I'll weight what I'm weighing now when I'm full term...experts have said that during pregnancy, a healthy weight gain should be 10-12 kilos...so I need to lose this much first before I plan for a baby! Gambatte!