Also three and a half months

Was just reading my friend's blog where she mentioned that her baby was 3 and a half months old now. And I realised that my marriage is also 3 and a half months old! Feels like it's been a long long time though.

It's such a queer feeling...I don't know if newly weds out there feels the same way as I do. It feels like we've been married all this while. It's strange to have my own home now and when I go back to visit my parents, it feels strange to feel detached from my previous home. It doesn't feel like my home anymore but yet that's were I lived for the past 7 years or so.

When I see my dog, he's still very attached to me, but yet it feels strange to say goodbye to him everytime I leave my parent's place. I wonder how he sees me now? Am I still his favourite che che or am I just like any other guests who comes and goes? I wonder...

When I sleep at night, I wonder how it is like to have someone sleep beside for the rest of my life...it's a strange feeling. Seeing my husband as a husband now, but yet he was my boyfriend and fiance for the past 4 years. It's strange how I adapted to the change in status of girlfriend to fiancee much faster and better than from fiance to wife!

It's strange because marriage is nothing like what I had imagined it to be. Our courtship feels like a dream and a real-life historical event at the same time. Our marriage is reality but it still feels so dreamlike. It's just really strange.

Since the wedding, I get bouts of feelings of detachment from this world. There will be times at home or at work where I feel like as those I'm looking at my world through a crystal ball, where I'll be a spectator looking out from inside a crystal ball. Sometimes things don't seem real but I know it's reality that I'm living in. Sometimes I feel like I'm living a dream.

Is this the effects of adjustment to a new phase in life? Or am I just tired most of the time...and the lack to sleep causes this dreamy zombie mode I'm in? I'm not sure...haha...but it's just a strange and bizarre feeling I get sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder if it's must me...