Letting go...Am I ready?

^{Was reading Philippians 1 from ODB (Our Daily Bread) this morning, and I think God was speaking to me in His still small voice about the matter that has been troubling me in my heart...}

^"22As long as I'm alive in this body, there is good work for me to do. If I had to choose right now, I hardly know which I'd choose. ²³Hard choice! The desire to break camp here and be with Christ is powerful. Some days I can think of nothing better ²⁴. But most days, because of what you are going through, I am sure that it's better for me to stick it out here."
~Phi 1:22-24~

Indeed..it's a tough choice for me. Like Paul, I'm struggling between 2 choices...his choice was to either press on and do his work on earth, or to request that God takes him back to Heaven to enjoy eternal bliss. Paul was clear that if he stayed, it was for love for the people who still needed his mentoring and guidance; if he went home, it was for himself to rest and be with God in Heaven forever.

Similarly, I face the same 2 roads...to go to a place which I'm not yet comfortable in, to play the role of an encourager, server and perhaps mentor and leader, or stay at where I'm comfortable in and enjoy being served by other leaders? Of course I can serve in the latter...but it's different to "meet a need" and to "value-add". I feel I'm faced with these 2 options...do I want to "meet a need" or "value-add" to God's Kingdom?

"I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway."
~Rom 7:19~

I feel I'm going through this now? But only tougher in my opinion...for I'm not wrestling against what's "good" and "not good", but I'm struggling between what's "good" and what's "best". If He wants the "best" for me, do I then only want to settle for the "good" for myself?

It's really hard letting go...really hard. But at least I have the assurance of my Saviour and King, and the support of my loved ones. I thank God that He has been opened the ways to make the transition easier for me. Now I would like to give thanks to God for:

1. Once again, my mother who has admonished, corrected and guided me well;
2. God for giving me assurance and peace through the uncertainties;
3. God for placing warm and friendly friends in CPC to help in my adjustment process;
4. God for giving me the experiencing of joining the TCC cell, where I got to know more supportive christian friends, and who understands my position;
5. For Hunny, who has always been supportive of my decisions and is ever so accomodating.

The struggles wouldn't end today...but I shall have to focus on what I have to carry on and move on, and stop looking at what I'll be losing ( inspired by Hun :>).

I'll go ahead, go ahead,
Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead...
I'm gonna groove, gonna groove,
Gonna groove, gonna groove, gonna groove!